Ending Covid Fear: A Self Reflection Guide on How You Managed

We are now into the fourth year of the Covid pandemic. Most pandemics last 3-5 years. We are finally seeing Covid starting to be like influenza A and be a common cold and flu for most people.

          Now would be a great time to reflect on how you handled Covid and all the fear it created in you. In most people, I saw them either shut down from the fear as it was too overwhelming or control something to feel like they had a handle on something or a combination of both in different areas of their lives. With shutdown or controlling those are normal responses to what we experienced. They are the modern day responses to fight or flight. We could not flee or attack Covid. So with fear pumping through our systems, the people with a flight response took off mentally by shutting down or finding ways to mentally escape. Those who would react by fight response needed an action and often turned to controlling as a way to manage the fear. Also, they chose control as they couldn’t control Covid or what was happening. But by finding something to control, it helped calm the fear as at least there was some aspect of their lives they could control. So let’s reflect over the last few years and see what resonates with you.

          Those that shut down often did so in some aspect of their lives. Did you do a lot less at work or avoided doing certain aspects of your work? Did you stop talking to family or friends? Stop taking care of yourself with your health (many of us heard of the Covid 10lbs), appearance or in some other way? Did you let the cleanliness or upkeep of your home or car go? Did you get lost in TV/Netflix shows, video games, or books? Did you turn to or increase the amount of substances like food, alcohol, smoking/vaping, marijuana or something else as a way to manage the fear?

          Those that went to control usually tried to control others, their environment or some aspect of themselves. If you were a boss or responsible for others, did you create more rules or restrictions? Did you start ordering others around instead of asking or suggesting? Were you micromanaging? With family or friends, were you trying to get them to do what you wanted them to do or your way? Would you not let it go? In your environment, did things have to be a certain way or order? Did you start checking to ensure doors were locked, oven or curling iron off, etc? With yourself, did you control what you ate or how you ate? Did you have an exercise regime that became more than normal workout routines? Did you start being meticulous with your appearance or obsess about a part of your appearance?

          Another fight response would be being angry. Did you find yourself with a shorter fuse compared to before Covid? Were you easily triggered and getting angry a lot more often? Were you feeling angry a lot of the time?

          Was there something else you did that you feel fell into a fight or flight response?

          Acknowledging your response is the first part of letting your fear go along with admitting how you felt over the last few years. Were you scared? Terrified? On edge? Angry all the time? Exhausted? Overwhelmed? All of it? And actually feel how you felt either by journaling, talking to someone you trust, going in your car and screaming it out or into a pillow, working out while thinking about your emotions or however you like to express your emotions best. This is actually really important to do this self reflection exercise. Without you realizing it, the fear is running you and keeping you in fight or flight mode which overtime stresses your entire body. In addressing your fear, you’re calming yourself down and allowing your body to rest. Without addressing it, it will silently run as a shadow, unconscious aspect of yourself and keep you in alert mode. It is a part of you that needs to voice itself in order to be released from your body and to heal yourself. For example in my late twenties I found myself journaling about how I felt when my parents divorced. I was 7 at the time they divorced and never really processed how I felt. I found myself crying and saying I wish my parents had gotten back together. Now the adult me did not feel that at all, but this was my inner child finally voicing how she felt and I gave her free license to speak her peace. With voicing it, I found a new level of peace within myself. Most of us haven’t been voicing our fear through Covid. We’ve all been feeling it, but because we are adults we were just expected to carry on the best we could, put on brave faces, especially if we had children or others in our care and survive the best we could. All I am suggesting is that there may be a part of you that wants to say how much Covid sucked and what you personally went through, endured and felt. This is an opportunity to say your peace and heal that part of you. I encourage you to express yourself.

          The next step is recognizing you are now safe. It might be hard to do if you listen to the news daily. I’d actually recommend taking a vacation from the news for a week or two to let your system decompress and be off of red alert mode. Your adrenal glands, which manage your stress levels, would greatly appreciate it.

          Ask yourself: what do I need to feel safe again? (this needs to be something you can do and not trying to make others do so you can feel safe - that falls back into controlling others again.) If you don’t know the answer, ask yourself what makes you feel safe? What used to make you feel safe? It might be you need a more physical or mental approach by going around your house or making a list: roof over head check, bills are paid check, food in fridge and cupboard check, don’t have any symptoms and feeling great check and double check, etc. Then when done say I know I’m safe as I have all of this. Maybe you need an emotional approach and need to feel safe. You might need to remember what made you feel safe in the past and start there. Or maybe you need a big long hug from your mom, dad or spouse and while hugging they say to you: you are safe and feel it. A spiritual approach might be to breathe and feel grounded where you are and saying in your head: I breathe in safe and calm, I breathe out fear and anxiety. You could also call in the Archangels. Anchangel Michael is for protection and you can call him in whenever you don’t feel safe; Archangel Raphael is for healing and you can ask him to apply healing or restore health; Archangel Zion is the angel of lost souls and lost aspects of yourself. What did you lose from Covid? Your sense of safety? Security? Peace of Mind? Well being? Whatever you lost, you call him in and ask him to help you restore that part of you that you’ve lost [Note: He’s not for material losses that’s St. Anthony]. You could also just simply do prayer and have a conversation with God and ask for His help and guidance in letting go of the fear. If there is something else that has come to your mind, do that.

          Continue to work on recognizing and seeing you are safe until you do feel safe. If none of the above is working, please feel free to contact me to discuss what would be ways to help you get there. I do free consultations. If you’re already feeling safe, now is the time to challenge the things you’ve been doing the last few years to cope with the fear and stress. You no longer need them anymore. The shutdown escaping person needs to get moving and get back into their lives. If you slowed down at work, pick one thing each week or every 2 weeks to add to what you’re doing until you’re back to what you were before Covid. If you escaped to TV, video games, etc, take an hour out of that time each day to talk to someone or do something different. Start breaking the habits. If you stopped taking care of yourself or something, do one thing each day to change that. Whereas, the controlling person needs to let go of the reigns. If you controlled others, notice how you’ve been talking to people and start changing how you speak with others, or start loosening up on rules, or start trusting others you work with to share the work load. If you controlled yourself or the environment, again let up on that and maybe one day a week let go of the control and just relax. Now, if the strategy you used was healthy and a positive change, then keep doing it. For example, I had a friend who saw a trainer twice a week. This is positive and healthy and she should keep doing it. I had another friend who worked out every single day and at least 2 hours each day. This is unhealthy and controlling and needs to be reduced. Uncertain where yours lies, ask a professional in the field i.e. a trainer for exercise, a dietician for food intake, etc.

          I hope this helped you recognize how you responded to the fear surrounding Covid and ways to manage them. In doing this self reflection, you also have gained insight into how you will in future deal with fear and know your triggers and what to watch out for. Next time you face fear, you might even challenge the past practices and pick healthier choices instead. Wishing you all the best.